June 30, 2010 at 12:42 pm (Birmingham, Bringing home the bacon, Obey Your Masters, oh so meta)
Dear blog readers who remain loyal and devour every new Daily Tannenbaum post when or if they happen,
I have been cheating on you.
It may seem like I am not blogging, but in fact I am.
I’ve been writing at another blog. It’s on the USMS (United States Masters Swimming) website.
It’s called “Too Neurotic to Be Suitably Aquatic” and it’s all about my swim workouts and the music selections I play at the pool.
If you would like to see where I’ve been moonlighting, you can go to the website, but I warn you that it’s full of passionate swimmers, and strange emoticons, and nobody there calls me “Noelle.”
While we’re at it, I might as well make some other confessions.
- My copy of Stay is still on hold for me at Oblong Books. I have not yet read it, despite considering myself a hard-core Allie Larkin / Greenists fan.
- I don’t think I’ve read your blog lately, unless it was about swimming. I feel guilty about trying to break into a new cadre of bloggers while ignoring you, my dear old friend.
- I make the excuse that my 2-hour commute is wiping me out, but in reality, it’s a 1 hour-45 minute commute.
- Last night, I meant to organize my finances, but I went sailing instead.
- My job doesn’t pay me enough to live on, and I have to get a second job. I would like a job where I work from home, be myself, not have a crazy boss, and possibly write books. I think that means I have to make money by using the internet, but I am at an impasse on how exactly to do that.
- I meant to make money off of this blog, and now there appear to be ads on it, but I didn’t put them there, and I don’t think I’m earning anything from them. If anything, this is all costing me money. I am scared that there are people out there who have figured it out, but I should be smarter than them.
- Am I too old to work as a waitress for the first time?
- That was bullet point wasn’t really a confession as much as a rhetorical question.
- I changed my Facebook status to “In an open relationship” which means that I finally gave into Birmingham’s charms again, but this time I’m the one who’s not ready to commit.
- It’s been so long since I’ve blogged, I wrote this post as a new page instead of a new post, and then freaked out when I couldn’t find it and I thought I lost my draft. (That also explains where this post went, which I thought I lost many months ago!)
Almost on a daily basis, I wish it was 2006 again.
6 Comments
May 20, 2010 at 3:32 pm (Obey Your Masters)
I passed the waterfront section of lifeguarding yesterday! I am now qualified to be large and in charge at all manners of aquatic facilities. I know head/chin splints, jaw-thrust manuevers, and in-line stabilization. I can also properly use a rescue board, which my instructor called “cheek to cheek paddling.” Here is an example of that as provided by Google Images:
He he. Get it? Cheek – to – cheek. When learning this, I was partnered with this super shy kid who’s a freshman on the high school swim team. He was so cute and embarrassed, and probably trying even harder than I was not to pass gas.
Another observation about high school kids, who filled this class: they are not familiar with The Monkees. When learning to do an underwater search in shallow water, where you link arms with other lifeguards and sweep the ground with your feet while walking forward, none of them got the reference to the dance they were so obviously emulating.
Also, one of the instructors brought her 4-year-old and plopped her in the pool with a purple swim cap, pink goggles, life preserver and kickboard and let her float around while we did skills. That image alone made me re-think my stance on not having kids, because she was capital-A-Adorable. But I promise that if I ever do have kids, I will not post sonogram pictures. Or maybe I’ll post sonogram pictures taken from random animals, and see if anyone notices. In all honesty, I’ve never looked at one and seen anything but blurry lines, and I but no one else does either.
9 Comments
May 18, 2010 at 1:39 pm (Birmingham, Bringing home the bacon, Eat your veggies, Nerdstar Geekactica, Obey Your Masters, Saturn, That Darn Cat, will work for food)
When you only blog once a month, it’s so hard to start out a post without somehow recognizing that fact. Many sentences with the theme of “I just don’t have the time… I’m not as into sharing with the world as I used to be… Just thought you might want some updates…” have just gone through my head as way to start this post, because just starting without noting my infrequent blogging, that’s like jumping into a cold pool all at once.
Speaking of, guess who’s certified to lifeguard and CPR at pools! This girl! On Wednesday, I’ll be taking the test to see if I can also lifeguard at waterfronts. This test is also at the pool. As of now, I am not employed anywhere with this certification, but everyone around me is just a little safer.
I’m still competing, too. There’s two more meets this season, and I think that the meat eating experiment is working well. Two weeks ago, I accomplished my goal of doing the 100 freestyle faster than 1:14. I did it in 1:11.61. It would have been even cooler if I had done it a little slower, becasue 1:11.78 would have been my birthday. But that’s the only time you’ll hear me say I want to go slower.
Lately I’ve been trying to assess what I want to be when I grow up. I’m still stung from the job loss a year and a half ago, because that really was perfect for me in so many ways. There’s always this voice in the back of my head telling me I should be a writer. Because “novelist” is a classic back-up job. All I can say is I went to the DMV yesterday to renew my car registration (it only took 5 minutes, but cost half a day’s pay) and I actually momentarily thought it might be fun to work at the DMV. Maybe I was just jealous because their printer was working, and it was very fast, and ours is not.
Other than that, in the past month I neither got engaged, pregnant, or got someone else pregnant. I didn’t convert to a new religion, and nobody I’m close to died or was born. Saturn is still out of business, and Battlestar Galactica is off the air. Lucy the cat is still cute, devistatingly so sometimes. I have not broken any bones or cars in at least 90 days. Oh, and Birmingham? Back in the picture. Just please don’t ask us to caption that picture. We’re simply having fun spending time together, creating witty banter.
8 Comments
