August 31, 2009 at 6:02 am (Bringing home the bacon, will work for food)
America is a land where you can re-invent yourself as many times as you need until you invent yourself into the person you are. If you put your heart into it, you can change almost anything and probably make a profitable make-over show about it. But as one wise person once told me, people never really change. They just grow into their personalities.
This week, I’m going for some big changes, again, to get myself back to me. That means no more flopping in front of the TV just to zone out, no more eating with abandon, and no more ignoring my gym membership. Most of all, no more being unhappy for longer than a day without figuring out a way to stop it.
Cold turkey sucks, and binging can be kind of fun, so before putting my nose to the grindstone, I had a week of decadence. It was my own personal Mardi Gras, which just happened to coincide with the Dutchess County Fair, which I attended three times this year. Three times at the fair meant that I indulged in a 4-H vanilla milkshake, fries, falafel, fake smoothies, soda, free samples of beer nuts, jams, and maple cotton candy, and zeppolies, which it took 31 years for me to discover. Thanks to my friend Flick, who convinced me to try them over funnel cake. And then to SisterAlyson who came up for the fair on Saturday and wanted to have them as well. When I wasn’t at the fair, I was molding my butt to the couch watching pointless amounts of TV. (Which actually got so boring that I went outside for a while to read a book, just a little taste of “new old me” that starts today.)
The fair food and the lack of exercise probably put me way past my calorie count for the month (the month of September, that is…) but I still took heed of the sign on the DQ that said “pumpkin ice cream now here,” and ended my week there. Now it’s Monday, I have a job interview lined up this morning, and my belly is full of one serving of cereal, and not eating again until it’s salad. There’s a post-it on my television admonishing me not to turn it on until “America’s Got Talent” tomorrow night, and my gym bag is packed for use after I run to the old office to clean out my desk. And here I am typing a post even though I would rather be sleeping, and even though I don’t feel 100% inspired. Next up: find a way to clean out my pantry by actually cooking something.
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August 28, 2009 at 8:13 am (Bringing home the bacon)
Hiya.
Remember Monday when I was writing about being depressed? I want to clarify that I don’t think that I’m bipolar or clinically depressed. When I feel overwhelmed I get the symptoms that align with clinical depression. And lately, I’ve been more overwhelmed and stressed than ever before, being in the wrong job and realizing that leaving said job means being exactly where I was in January, albeit with the significant changes of being licensed to sell life and health insurance in New York and Connecticut and without the ability to go on New York State Unemployment this time.
Thinking about all my situation and options and lack of options is occupying much of my time. Hence, sometimes I put my head down on the pillow and just think, and then I start to cry, and then I can’t get out of bed and it’s all I can do to drag myself to the couch and binge on comfort food and Season 5 of House on DVD while wearing dirty PJ’s and not vacuuming my house.
That’s why when I saw this article on Boing Boing today, I was elated. It’s a summary of research by two scientists who believe they have found the evolutionary reason for depression. In short, it doesn’t come from being lazy or malfunctions of the brain, it comes from the mind’s need to sort things out. The lack of desire to do things and see people may be because we need to be less distracted to analyze a situation. Our bodies shut down a little to let the mind work. There are a few ways to work through a depressed period, and one of the best they discovered is expressive writing, which helps put thoughts together.
No coincidence then, that I’ve felt so much better since picking up the blog again, especially after Monday’s post. I highly recommend clicking over to the article if you ever get down from time to time and wondered if that was serving any purpose.
Since starting this job, I’ve had some major episodes of being seriously down in the dumps, which I was crediting to the nature of the job being very difficult. But every time I got down, it was worse than the time before. It took the realization: this job is not right for me, for the pieces of the problem to become clear. The next step: attack the problem one piece at a time. So that’s why yesterday when I was at a strategy meeting with the head of the agency I told him straight up that I didn’t want to do this anymore. He told me I was free to go. I feel great now.
(I’m sure there’ll be more on the job situation later, details to follow.)
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August 26, 2009 at 4:00 am (Nomenclature)
Daynesia [dey-nee-zhuh]
- noun
1. partial or total loss of memory, specifically pertaining to what the hell day it is.
2. incorrect assumption of what day of the week it is for a period of time.
Origin:
Last Wednesday morning, I realized I had titled my latest post “New Word Tuesday.” It was hours later when I realized I was at the Chamber of Commerce Breakfast, which is only held held on Wednesdays, and therefore not at all Tuesday. It’s not the first time I thought I was in the wrong day, and I thought the feeling deserved a word.
Use in a Sentence:
1. From 6:02am until about 8:00am I suffered from a mild case of dayensia, thinking it was Tuesday, when it was actually Wednesday.
2. Back in 2006, I wrote about a case of daynesia caused by losing my “twofer Tuesday” radio reference point when I moved. I just didn’t know what to call it until now.
Can I get a video of a great pop culture reference?
Oh jeez, I don’t know enough about and don’t have time to learn enough about the internet and video and copywright law to post the clip that would be perfect to answer that question. But here’s a link to the Wikipedia page describing the episode of “The Office” where Jim and Pam encourage Dwight’s daynesia by making him think Thursday is Friday, and therefore causing him to miss most of Friday. Good stuff.
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