Hi! Things are still going well at work. It’s hard, building a client base and getting the word out, but I have a feeling that it will be rewarding in a few weeks, months, years… Eventually. But I’m not writing about work today, since my life is all work, work, work, but for the two hours a day I spend in my car going to and from the office. That’s Noelle time. So far, I’m not minding the commute unless I get caught behind a school bus. I usually take back roads the entire way, and there are many wonderful and funny things I see along the way that I want to share with you, dear reader. Armed only with my cell phone camera, I’ve decided to start sharing, when I can.
For instance, his church is right near the start of my day. They have a sign that changes periodically between intentionally funny and unintentionally funny, with a smattering of just plain churchy. This is what’s showing now:
If you can't make that out, it says: "The Best Vitamin for A Christian is BI"
I THINK, and if there are any people out there who are familiar with modern Christian lingo, please correct me if I’m wrong, that “BI” stands for “Bible Instruction.” But I also watched every episode of “My So-Called Life” so I know that “BI” is also slang for “Bi-sexual,” meaning one who wants to sleep with everybody (and I’m using the scientific, Kinsey-based definition here.) And yes, it’s true, a good way to vitamin the Christian out of a stubborn conservative is to introduce them to someone who’s found happiness through sexual awakening. But the BEST way? I’m not so sure.
However, I’m guessing that’s not what this sign means to say. I think they’re trying to promote a religious instruction of some sort. And I’m thinking that they declined to do a quick internet search before posting their sign this week. It’s the same malady that befell the folks that started BJ’s Wholesale Club, Dick’s Sporting Goods Store, and the Sacred Heart In Toyko school. (My elementary school friend went there during the four years she lived in Japan during which time they wisely changed the name after someone wrote out the acronym on a sweatshirt.)
That’s the little chuckle that starts my day. Coming up next: The Havarest Motel. Cracks me up every time.
UPDATE: Comment consensus says that the sign actually says “B1″ as in “be one.” That makes a little more sense being that “B1″ is a type of actual vitamin, but it still looks like “BI” to me.
Posted by Laura on April 8, 2009 at 7:14 pm
Noelle…delurking to say I think the church means “B 1″, like B one (or “be one”).
Posted by stef on April 8, 2009 at 7:23 pm
erm….i think that it might be saying “The Best Vitamin for A Christian is B1″…as in “be one”.
Posted by Dingo on April 8, 2009 at 7:46 pm
Having been pelted with cutesy Bible lingo as a child, I’m sure it’s “be one” like Stef said.
Posted by rdl on April 8, 2009 at 8:16 pm
I thought it was a pun on vitamin B1
The best vitamin for a Christian is B1.
Posted by stefanie on April 8, 2009 at 9:28 pm
I thought it was B followed by an exclamation point, which didn’t make a lot of sense, actually, so I was more than willing to go with your interpretation of it.
There was a church with rotating amusing messages like that near my old apartment, and sometimes I am tempted to take my old exit on the way home just to see what it says. And then I remember it’s really not *that* important, and not particularly worth the detour. If you would continue to keep me posted on *that* church, it would be a fine substitute.
Also, hi! Good to hear from you again. I hope all’s well, my dear.
Posted by Peter DeWolf on April 9, 2009 at 6:20 am
Hey, welcome back.
Posted by 3carnations on April 9, 2009 at 7:52 am
B1 was what I thought it said. Nice to see you posting.
Posted by Lara on April 9, 2009 at 9:07 am
Alright, I snorted at this one. Hilarious, my friend.
Oh, what I wouldn’t give for a Sacred Heart in Tokyo sweatshirt!
Posted by adriana on April 9, 2009 at 9:21 am
Even if it’s “be one,” I still don’t get it. I mean, I get that they want you to “be” a Christian, but… whatever. I love the random things that people see on commutes to work.
Posted by Christina on April 9, 2009 at 9:39 am
I’m glad to find we share a sense of humor about the Havasex Motel: http://www.flickr.com/photos/33469273@N05/3222401641/
Also, HOLY CRAP, *I* went to Sacred Heart International Tokyo (now ISSH, International School of the Sacred Heart) for elementary/middle school (which was, for me, 1990 to 1994). I tend to score the probability of encountering other people in daily life who might have done same as a zero, or close to it. You’ve made my day.
Posted by courtney on April 9, 2009 at 10:57 am
Sacred Heart in Tokyo! That’s almost as good as the Furman University Christian Knights.
If I had a church, I’d totally steal the church signs from The Simpsons and use them.
Posted by Abby on April 9, 2009 at 12:15 pm
HA! I thought you were spoofing about BI vs. B1.
Late one night, my SO and I drove by a church near my house. I don’t know what their sign said originally, but when we saw it, it said “God has no twat”. We went back the next morning to take a photo (I don’t think we even *had* a cell phone back then, let alone one with a camera), but it had been “corrected”.
Posted by CharmCityKim on April 9, 2009 at 4:03 pm
I definitely read that as “B1″ as in “be one”.
I love church signs! I have to give a few churches credit for being clever (sadly – I can’t seem to think of any really funny ones I’ve seen lately. Go figure).
Posted by Allie on April 9, 2009 at 5:05 pm
It totally looks like Bi. And it totally cracks me up. That’s hysterical!
Posted by mickey on April 12, 2009 at 3:58 pm
It’s totally “be one.” And that clever little one-liner could be employed by any group out there. Plug in any word in place of “Christian” and it gets either funnier or scarier.
Posted by nancypearlwannabe on April 13, 2009 at 7:30 am
At least that church is attempting to be witty? The Baptist church I drive by on my commute usually has signs saying things like, “Homosexuals will rot in hell for eternity!”