Courtney tagged me for the “seven things” meme. I probably shouldn’t open the post that way, lest you say to yourself, “ick. a meme. I never read those masturbatory odes to oneself.“ But there’s no test at the end, so if you want to skip learning seven things about me, that’s cool. But before you go, I just want to let you know these are seven things about me that relate to the last four days! (And there were rules and stuff to this meme, but I’m ignoring them, because like my bloodline, it ends here.)
- I started volunteering at the Dutchess County SPCA as a dog walker. It’s perfect for me because I like dogs, but I don’t want one of my own. (That’s also how I feel about kids, but there’s no shelter around here that lets you take kids on a walk.) I walked about half a dozen dogs, one at a time, along a route down to the pet cemetery on the property. Almost all the dogs peed on a statue to the dead dog named Lady. Those dogs have no respect, and I hope that doesn’t keep them from finding a good home.
- I keep gloves in my glove compartment, but only to make a point. A few years ago, I was playing Trivial Pursuit, and I got one of the stupidest questions ever. It was, “out of ten people how many keep gloves in their glove box?” I gave it some good thought, trying to figure out the trick of the question. It was obviously a low number, because otherwise why bother with the question? But there’s a good chance that at least one of those ten people used the glove box for such a purpose, because I believe that at least some of the population of America puts gloves in a glove box, and I was trusting that those ten people were a reasonable sample of Americans (or even Canadians.) With that in mind, I guessed “one person.” The answer on the card was “zero people,” which is such bullshit, because that means that statistically no one ever, ever keeps gloves in their glove box. But I do! I do because I need to prove that ridiculous question wrong. And I’m glad I do, because I realized I forgot to bring gloves with me when I went to the dog walking. But for the fact that my “prove a point” gloves are too small, have a hole in three fingers, and were never really warm to begin with, they were better than nothing.
- When I moved, I got a card for 30 days of a free BJ’s membership, so I used that over the weekend. Wow, is a warehouse club the opposite of everything I stand for, but I still bought more than I intended, because they gave me all these coupons! While I was shopping, I was so out of my element, I almost ate a sample of the grilled chicken they were hawking. But then I remembered I’m a shop local vegetarian freak. Sometimes it’s fun to go against everything you stand for, in this case, because there is something cool about knowing I don’t have to buy deodorant again until Obama’s second term.
- I have this gray hair that grows near my forehead, and I’ve had it since high school. I leave it alone, because I figure that way it will leave me alone, and it won’t bring friends. I was wrong. I found another yesterday. I would really like to hightail it to Max right now for a cut and color, but I don’t have the money at the moment. I hope I can scrounge up some savings before I start to resemble Birmingham.
- There is only one kind of pool that I’m good at, and that’s a swimming pool. Billiards, not so much. I played with friends over my extended weekend when we couldn’t get a bowling lane, and damn I’m bad. I only sunk the balls I didn’t mean to, including the opponent’s balls a few times. I guess playing once every three years does not a hustler make. I’m still sad that there are plans to turn the local pool hall into a branch of the evil empire.
- I had a lot of down time over the past few days, and I used it to watch all of the first season of Mad Men. What a damn fine show. If anyone can tell me a way to watch season two without having to buy it on iTunes or wait for the DVD release, I’d be most grateful.
- This being my first year of not living on a Christmas tree farm, I decided that if I couldn’t cut down my own real tree for free, I would get the opposite of a real tree. So I dropped twenty bucks at a store that sells above-ground pools, fooseball tables, and billards tables in addition to a small holiday section. I think I succeeded in finding the most festive tree ever, because for the price of one, I got three trees in one box. What do you think?
Metallic purple: the opposite of real
