I was in the middle of writing this kick-ass post about how I’ve discovered I can get over 30 miles to the gallon (city) in my 2007 Saturn Ion by simply driving the speed limit. But that’s really all there is to it. The rest of the post was simply a list of the new things I’ve discovered from doing that, like how mad other drivers can get, and how I now have to wake up an extra 10 minutes early to get to swimming on time. But alas, it’s so worth it when I see that gas gauge still over a half tank a week after I’ve filled up.
But while writing that post, I was listening to the radio, and something made me angry. I often get angry when I listen to the radio, because despite having a kick-ass local station (100.1 WDST, Woodstock Radio) we have some terrible, awful, horrifying local commercials.
One in particular that drives me up the wall is for a company that sells solar panels. A man in the background keeps soothly repeating “Solar now. Solar now.” Meanwhile a woman, who went to the enunciate-every-syllable school of voice over work tells us that her company can design a solar system for my home. Every time she says that, I ask her if the solar system includes Pluto. She never answers, going on to tell us that we can be part of enerGy STar ParTners. Solar now.
There’s another commercial for a lumber company with a catchy jingle that includes the line, “it fits the bill, Gill.” The ad has been playing for the 3 years I’ve lived here, and they still can’t come up with a better rhyme that has something to do with… you know, lumber. And no one has figured out who Gill is.
My station also the annoying car commercials, DJ interviews of business owners that are really commercials, and the jingle of the company that is either called “M&S, N&S, Eninnesse, or EM n’ ES Supply” but I can’t tell because their jingle is very unclear. They annoy me too. But none of them are as bad as the worst radio ads ever.
The Geico ads.
I hate, hate, hate Geico. I used to use them for my car insurance until I got a better rate from the lovely people at State Farm. When I got my survey asking me why I left, I told them it was because of their advertisements.
First of all, they can’t decide on a constant theme. The Gecko, the has-been celebrities, the (fucking) Cavemen, the E! True Hollywood Story parodies. Either way, they tell you it takes 15 minutes to sign up. But they don’t tell you that it takes days and weeks or months to get a claim settled…
But what really annoys me are their new ads for renters insurance. I’ve had renter’ insurance from State Farm for years, and it’s great. Not that anything’s happened to me in that time, but if it did, I’d get cash to replace my stuff, and it only costs about $200 a year. It’s nice peace of mind when you live in a 150-year-old tinder box with questionable electrical wiring. Now Geico wants me to buy their shit, and you know how they do it? By listing all the things that renters hold near and dear. Examples:
“salad spinner”
“combination flat-screen TV espresso maker”
“race car bed”
“Mexican hat”
Among others that I can’t remember at the moment because I’m so disgusted. They’re basically saying that renters are people who like to throw away their money on pricey or worthless items and even though it’s laughable that renters would think their possessions have any value, or even any worth, Geico will do them the favor of treating them like real people (read: homeowners) and give them money if their stuff gets lost.
As a person who rents, I’m pretty offended. Yeah, my kitchen table may be a piece of plywood on top of two sawhorses, but that’s because it came with the cottage. And I’m smart enough to know that there is no such thing as a combination flat-screen TV espresso maker, and State Farm treats me as such. I also appreciate that my current agency never teased a 30-second ad into a sitcom, and as long as they stay that way, they’ll stay my agent. Now pardon me while I hide my laptop, which is of equal value to all of my other possessions combined.
Posted by stefanie on May 28, 2008 at 11:00 am
See, this is why I love public radio so much.
Also, I always appreciate a good Simpsons reference in the subject line. Nice job.
I miss my WNYC. I haven’t started listening to the Hudson Valley feeds yet.
Posted by Dutchess of Kickball on May 28, 2008 at 11:00 am
I hate the stupid Fits the Bill, Gill ad. Do you have any idea how long it took me to figure out what they were actually saying. But the absolute worst right now is the Money, Money, Money lottery commercial where they repeat everything three times. I literally have to turn the radio off.
I just heard the Money Money Money ad this morning. THE WORST!
Posted by 3carnations on May 28, 2008 at 11:04 am
Hubby had Geico when we got together. When we got married and it came time to combine car insurance, combining us on Geico was the more expensive option, while combining us on my insurance was actually less than he had been paying to insure just himself. Go figure. Apparently all those catchy mascots and catch phrases are very expensive to come up with.
Yeah, those ads don’t come free, you know.
Posted by Aaron on May 28, 2008 at 11:05 am
Yep, Geico sucks. And my hatred is based solely on their gee dee advertising. I have a pretty strict personal policy that if a company’s advertising is annoying, condescending or just downright stupid, I will not use their product/shop in their store, no matter how good the product may be.
When I didn’t have cable last summer, I had to listen to the Red Sox on the radio, and they played the same handful of ads every commercial break, every game. Sometimes I wake up crying with the ads for D’Angelos lobster roll (“SATISFY YOUR SUMMER CRAVING!”) echoing in my head.
That’s the nice thing about being a consumer, it’s the one piece of influence you have. If you can blog about it, even better.
Posted by Aaron on May 28, 2008 at 11:06 am
That should have been a close parenthesis, not a winky smiley. Stupid fingers.
That’s okay, who doesn’t like an extra smiley?
Posted by -R- on May 28, 2008 at 11:11 am
I do like that the gecko’s voice is the voice of Tim from the British version of The Office.
I did not know that. I wonder if it will prevent me from ever enjoying the British office again.
Posted by deutlich on May 28, 2008 at 11:20 am
I’m no fan of Geico either.
Word. And welcome!
Posted by Brando on May 28, 2008 at 11:44 am
The Cavemen are one of the worst repeated ad gimmicks in history. So horrible.
We have actually hit the hat trick with State Farm. I’ve had car claims, a renter’s insurance claim after my place got robbed, and a home owner’s claim after our house was hit by a tornado. And no gecko’s.
Although I almost switched to Allstate since they had President David Palmer as their spokesman.
David Palmer is a powerful motivator, but for me, it comes down to money and good customer service at this point.
Posted by Tara on May 28, 2008 at 12:09 pm
I haven’t listened to the radio since the invention of the mp3 player.
What’s a salad spinner?
I have to agree with you on the renters thing. So what that my dining room table cost me 60 bucks on at a Bradlees going-out-of-business sale 10 years ago.
I like radio because I like the feeling like someone is talking to me. A salad spinner is a thing that, as far as I know, only RA uses after purchase. It’s supposed to dry your lettuce, and it works really well.
Posted by Lara on May 28, 2008 at 12:11 pm
That is SUCH an excellent point about Geico!! What jerks!
I have a deep and intense hatred of the 1-800-MYLEMON commercials. Shudder.
I don’t know those ads. Perhaps I should visit Philly to witness the horror.
Posted by Kristabella on May 28, 2008 at 12:12 pm
I refuse to be insured by Geico for the commercials alone.
Although, I’m with Progressive and their commercials talking about pet insurance aren’t much better.
I had Progressive, briefly, but then I got rid of my car. Pet insurance ads would probably bug me.
Posted by nancypearlwannabe on May 28, 2008 at 12:16 pm
Massachusetts does not allow Geico insurance. Isn’t that strange? Maybe the state officials also have a deep-seated hatred of the cavemen commercials.
The local commercials here are also really, really horrible. Especially furniture stores for some insane reason.
New Jersey didn’t allow it either, and that’s because their coverage did not satisfy state requirements.
Posted by Vanessa on May 28, 2008 at 12:47 pm
I’ve heard that ad from Geico too. It really is infuriating. I actually think I am making the smarter choice by renting as housing prices are falling so rapidly, it seems it would be a negative equity situation for quite some time. I’d rather invest that “down payment” in something that will actually turn out to be an asset, not a liability. I doubt Geico has taken any of this into consideration! Bottom line? People like to be treated well, not talked down upon.
Exactly! It’s not like people rent just because they have nothing better to do. Sometimes it actually makes sense. Is there anyone who likes this dumb company?
Posted by courtney on May 28, 2008 at 12:50 pm
I’ve never had renter’s insurance. I’ll probably regret that if I ever get robbed.
While we’re at it, can we talk about the Chick-fil-A cows? Those have been on FOREVER. (Wait, do you even have Chick-fil-A up there?)
I refuse to eat Chick-fil-A, because a) I’m a vegetarian, b) they’re not open on Sundays because they want to impose their religious beliefs on other people and c) I hate their cows. Oh, and d) they don’t really have them up here.
Posted by Kate on May 28, 2008 at 12:51 pm
This is wny I love XM Radio. I can’t stand commericals- on TV or on the radio. In order to make their products available to everyone, they speak to their lowest consumer- the bonehead.
Yeah, but the trade-off is that the radio is free.
Posted by Pam on May 28, 2008 at 1:00 pm
I agree on all points Geico. But I must say that I enjoy almost all of their celebrity re-inactments. I have no idea what they’re really talking about because I would never use Geico. Ever. But the Little Richard one cracks me up. And the fact that they have a talking Mrs Butterworth’ s commercial is funny to me too. But also sorta sad. And borderline racist?
Okay, if you corner me with a gun, I might, might admit I have a soft spot for the Joan Rivers ad. Might.
Posted by The Modern Gal on May 28, 2008 at 1:10 pm
I can rarely understand the gecko anyway. Maybe that’s the point?
There’s a commercial I used to always see on TV in Nashville for some dentist or dental surgeon that had a song where they only words were: JOY! JOY! JOY! JOY! JOY! Nails on a chalkboard.
Yeah, and I’m betting that Joy and dental surgery have nothing to do with each other.
Posted by Sarah on May 28, 2008 at 1:38 pm
That’s why I only listen to NPR– they just read their ads in nice, normal voices instead of switching over to commericals that use obnoxious voices to get your attention.
I saw one of those Geico cavemen do stand-up at a club in Irvine. He wasn’t dressed as a caveman though.
Was he any good?
Posted by mike golch on May 28, 2008 at 1:53 pm
it is amazeing that we get better gas milage when we only take our foot out of the carbuator.
Yeah, it’s much better for your foot, too.
Posted by freeandflawed on May 28, 2008 at 3:43 pm
That caveman show was horrible. I do like some of the music they play in some of the commercials though.
I never watched a moment. Maybe I can buy the soundtrack!
Posted by mickey on May 28, 2008 at 4:39 pm
Now I’m whistling the one song from the caveman commercial.
I just read that they introduced the gecko during an actors’ strike in 1999. So blame the actors. Primadonnas.
I usually do blame the actors.
Posted by Ann on May 28, 2008 at 4:44 pm
I used to listen to a certain Irish radio station 8 hours a day until their ads finally did my head in. So I can relate to crappy ads. (Ever see that Simpsons where Homer meets the guy who created the radio ads where two people pretend to have a conversation about the product? I loved it when Homer punched that guy in the face and the guy said something like ‘that’s okay, it happens all the time.’)
I can also relate to hiding your laptop when you go out, since that’s what I do. It’s not that it’s ultravaluable, it’s just that I’m completely dependent on it.
That is yet another great Simpsons moment.
Posted by alexa on May 28, 2008 at 9:25 pm
there is a geico advertisement plane that flies around downtown cleveland with the caveman’s face on it.
i wish had a jet propeller backpack and i could rip it down.
hooray for renters!
So not only is it being obnoxious with its advertising, it’s wasting fuel for no reason. Down with Geico!
Posted by rdl on May 28, 2008 at 11:13 pm
Great!!
Thanks!
Posted by lizgwiz on May 29, 2008 at 10:22 am
I’ve been a State Farm policyholder for a million years. (I am old.) The coolest thing about them is, if they have a year where they pay out fewer claims than expected, they will mail you a rebate check. I got one last year for the first time in a while. (Okay, it was only about $12, but still–an insurance company gave me money BACK.)
Posted by Laurel on May 29, 2008 at 11:49 am
I just hate radio ads in general. Why are they so much more annoying than television ads (not that television ads aren’t annoying, but…).
Also, down with commercials stereotyping renters! That makes me angry, too!
Posted by Allie on June 1, 2008 at 11:47 am
I know that if our house ever burned to the ground, the first thing I’d want to replace is my salad spinner. I mean, are you just going to eat lettuce all wet and drippy? It dilutes the salad dressing.