There are small differences between how you see the world when you’re in a relationship and how you see it when you’re single. For instance, when you are in a relationship, attractive young men of a certain age are people, and when you talk to them, you have a conversation. But when you’re single, those attractive guys are targets, and talking to them becomes a mission. One must be careful because cuteness does not equal date-ability, especially when you are as picky. Being the shy person that I am, I like to employ a small rating system before I make a move, which ensures I’m taking a chance on a good one. I practiced this on Saturday. Enjoying a half-hour break from my work, I bought an ice cream cone and took it to an outdoor courtyard to enjoy the near perfect weather. The place I sat faced the window of a shop which allowed me to see the reflections of the other people in the courtyard, including a cute boy in a red shirt talking on a cell phone and sitting behind me. He got 4 points off the bat for looking good, but not too good, in his red shirt. I listened in to the call:
“I just got a break from work so I thought I would call”
Talking so loudly on his cell phone that I can hear him without trying, -2 points.
“Sorry I couldn’t talk last night, I was shaping gnocchi when you called, and I had to get the sauce finished to time out correctly.”
9 points for kitchen skillz.
“No, no one special, just some friends. Mostly I needed the practice.”
Can I translate that to mean he doesn’t have a special someone to feed? 6 points!
“I don’t think I’m going to make a meal that big again without doing a roast or something. It felt like it was missing a centerpiece.”
Damn. Doesn’t get the vegetarian lifestyle. -8 points.
“So I wanted to call because I’m going to Mom’s next weekend.”
Visits his mom, 3 points, seems to be talking to a family member because he said “Mom” not “my Mom.” 1 point.
“Her place is just so much closer to JFK, and it will be easier to get the flight to Bermuda from there.”
World traveler, 4 points.
“Yeah, I’m going with Mom.”
Takes a romantic vacation with his mother. -10 points. (It would have been -15 points, but for the fact that I just booked a trip to San Francisco with my parents. I only did it because we’re going for a family reunion, so I’m giving him the benefit of 5 points in case he has a good reason, too.)
“I’ve got to get back to work, I’m putting in 50 hour weeks here.”
4 points for being conscientious about his career, and understanding that I’ll be busy all the time as well.
“Okay Dad, I’ll talk to you later.”
Child of divorce. Red flag, but I don’t want to hold it against him too much until I hear the whole story. -1 point.
He stands up and walks past me towards his place of employment. I look at his feet, they are shod in flip-flops. I do a quick check around, and we are not, in fact at the pool. -11 points, bringing him to a grand total of -1 point. Do not pursue.
So that’s my system, simple, effective, and usually keeps me from having to meet anybody new at all.
