Dear Everyone who’s like, “I love Daylight Saving Time!”

Yeah, it’s light out when you leave work. But is it even warm enough to do anything? Nay, it is not I say. The light is just a tease.

Moreover, when I left for swimming practice on Friday morning, the sky was aglow with the beginnings of a beautiful sunrise. When I left for swimming practice this morning, the sky was aglow with STARS. Stars! In the morning! Before breakfast! That is so wrong. It’s not that I don’t love this beautiful country view without serious light pollution, but I’d rather that viewing the starry sky be the last thing I do before going to bed, not the first thing I do upon getting up.

Additionally, I wanted to go to the health food store yesterday to get a delicious vegan desert. I got there at 6:15 only to find that the store had closed a quarter hour earlier. I tell you, if it is light out, stores should stay open. We should be allowed at least that trade-off. But no, the proprietor of the health food store was out enjoying an extra hour of sunlight like the rest of the DST lovers.

So keep your love to yourself. I’m not impressed.

Sincerely,

Noelle, who thinks that if the powers that be can move the date of Daylight Saving Time this early in the year, they can also officially start calling it “Daylight Savings Time” because that sounds so much better.