At swimming this morning, I whacked my hand on the lane line while attempting to do 50 yards of Butterfly. At this moment almost an hour later, the knuckles on my right hand are turning into a very pretty shade of blue, with a lovely red center, accented by the fact that it’s swelling to twice its normal size. (If you’re lucky, I’ll put up a picture later!)
For those of you who don’t know much about swimming, Butterfly is the stroke that looks really beautiful when the pros do it, throwing their arms over their heads, kicking like a dolphin. When you see people like me do it, the appearance is more like that of a victim of a shark attack in deep waters.
After finishing the rest of my workout with my throbbing hand, I showed my injury to the coach, who told me not to swim so close to the lane lines in order to avoid further handjury. <—-Word blatantly ripped off of Aaron’s famous “shinjury”— I told him that I certainly would work on swimming in a straight line, which is a problem since my left side exists mainly for show. He told me I need to work on my form, and I asked him if he had any advice.
“For you, right now, the main thing you need to work on is survival from one end to the other.”
Thanks, coach, will do. What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger. And possibly more cranky.
12 responses so far ↓
Aaron // October 17, 2007 at 7:57 am
So, in other words, your coach’s helpful advice is “don’t drown”.
Thanks for the Funky Carter Dictionary shoutout! I won’t be happy until my unique fauxcabulary catches on with the kids.
My coach is a really caring man and I’m glad he wants me to stay alive. Looking for more dictionary entries soon!
3carnations // October 17, 2007 at 8:31 am
What I can’t understand is why, knowing full well that it would hurt to hit your hand on there, you chose to do it anyway. Looking for attention no doubt…
Can you write with the hand still? (or are you left handed?) Hope it feels better soon!
My left side is here just for show, but thankfully typing doesn’t hurt. Picking up anything heavier than 2 pounds does, however. And I guess my search for attention worked on you at the very least!
nancypearlwannabe // October 17, 2007 at 8:45 am
You have a coach? And his only advice on how to avoid swimming too close to the lane marker was “don’t”? Hmm. Maybe I’ll look into coaching at the Y. How much do you think they pay for inane words of wisdom?
He was much better at teaching freestyle. Usually, I find him to be very helpful. I think he may have been mad at me because I left a little early today.
Allie // October 17, 2007 at 8:49 am
I think you should tell everyone you got into a fist fight and the other guy looks WAY worse.
Awesome. I will.
-R- // October 17, 2007 at 9:50 am
Sage advice from your coach.
That is a hardcore swim team if you are doing the butterfly. Yuck. I always look like I’m having a seizure when I attempt the butterfly.
That’s about the way I look, too. There is nothing hardcore about what I’m doing, it’s a version of “throw ‘em out of the nest, and watch ‘em fly!”
BOSSY // October 17, 2007 at 1:18 pm
What a coincidence - Bossy needs to work on her form too. She also has to learn to swim, not sink.
That can be easily done by not doing the butterfly.
evilkate // October 17, 2007 at 1:33 pm
Survival. Gosh that’s priceless. Some days I feel like life is like that. You just have to make it from one end to the other…
You’re right, that has been the theme of my day so far.
alyndabear // October 17, 2007 at 3:36 pm
You poor thing! My sporting injury is much less severe than yours, but who would’ve thought a simple blister would bring me so much pain. Yargh!
It’s like when a tiny little hangnail ruins your whole day.
kir // October 17, 2007 at 4:46 pm
oh i’ve smacked my hands on those things before. OUCH!
They’re buoyant, but they’re not soft.
SwimMaster // October 17, 2007 at 6:13 pm
The Butterfly.
Play a nice medium-paced rock song in your head and swim to the beat. The first stroke is the hardest. You’re underwater in the streamline position, shoulders forward, head tucked between them, head down but eyes forward. Just before you start the first arm pull, do a dolphin kick, and let your back arch up (a dolphin swims with its body, not just with its legs). Your now completing the “last stroke,” which hasn’t actually occurred, and which is the completion of a dive into the water. Remember that. A dive back into the water.
Then start your arm pull. Let your shoulders come out of the water, keep your head down, and keep streamlined. A miracle will happen. Your body will start lifting out of the water, and you can bring your arms forward without that exhausting “get your arms out of the water” exertion. As your arms are moving forward, lift your head (only then), hit the second kick, and dive back into the water. Get back into the streamlined position. Repeat.
The butterfly is all about diving into the water, not getting your arms out of it. Visualize that, and you’ll do a fifty like the pro’s.
Wow, thank you mysterious stranger from The Place We Do Not Blog About!
rdl // October 17, 2007 at 8:12 pm
Ouch!
You said it, sister!
stefanie // October 18, 2007 at 10:29 am
Like -R- said, if I attempted the Butterfly, I would look like I’m going into some sort of convulsions. So I commend you for trying, at least.
Also, “shinjury”? “verntacular”? “fauxcabulary”? I think I need to start reading Aaron’s blog.
I think everyone should start reading Aaron’s blog.
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