I took the day off from work yesterday, so I could 1) recover from a night of wicked passion with Birmingham, 2) get the oil changed in my car and 3) be home when the 3 men from the oil company came to fix my furnace. (It’s now fiery, hence the title).
I got home from the auto place to find my entire kitchen, bathroom, and anti-room (the room that connects the kitchen to the stairs and serves no particular purpose other than to contain the furnace) full with the stuff of furnace repair, and all my furniture moved aside to make way for it. The beer belly workman (Abednego) explained to me what they were doing, and the super thin workman (Shadrach) actually made a point to close the door behind them so the cat wouldn’t get out, not that she was moving from her fortress of solitude under the bed while she crouched frozen in fear. The third guy, the quiet workman (Meshach), was their driver and gofer.
My ancillary plans for cleaning the house were moot seeing that the guys were making a bigger mess than I ever could and that my vacuum was trapped behind toolboxes. It was clear it was time to wax my car, an activity I had been waiting to do when the weather was warm and the car was clean, both of which were true yesterday.
The car was parked next to Abednego’s truck, and while I was pulling out the waxing stuff, he called to me:
“You waxing your car?”
“Yeah, I thought it could use a little protection for the winter.”
“You’re alright, kid!”
Oddly pleased and slightly unnerved that I had received approval from the furnace man, I commenced waxing my car and channeling my inner Daniel-san.
As I moved from the passenger side of the car to the back bumper, Abednego came out again to get some more tools.
“It’s really hot out to be doing that today,” he mentioned casually as he looked over to me.
“I guess it is, but now’s as good a time as any.”
“It just looks like you’re getting a little sweaty over there,” he said, turning the conversation from my activity to my physical appearance, the first step across the line.
“I’m okay.” [End conversation]
About an hour later, I had finished waxing the roof, the driver side, the hood, and was working on the undone passenger side. I was getting pretty sweaty, an I was getting sore as well. Seeing that it was his last chance to send me his esteem, Abednego packed some stuff in his truck and said, “You’re doing a great job. I don’t know what’s prettier, you or the car.”
That’s right, folks, I got sexually harassed on the grounds of a former women’s art colony, proving that all the hard work my landlesbian and others put in all those years ago have gone exactly nowhere. Maybe there’s something about cars and women that makes men who see the women with cars think those women want unsolicited compliments on their looks by sweaty workmen. At least he didn’t tell me I missed a spot. Maybe there was some benefit because when the workmen finished their furnace work, they put all my furniture back in the right place and cleaned up after themselves. That’s more than I can say for the plumber.
15 responses so far ↓
stefanie // October 5, 2007 at 8:37 am
Yeah, the “You’re all right, kid” part was nice. The rest I could have done without as well.
Also, I am not smart or well-read enough to understand the references in your title, and I am also too lazy to Google or Wikipedia it right now. I hope to god this doesn’t mean I’ve become one of the masses you referred to in your previous post–the ones keeping Two and a Half Men on the air.
No the title has a lot to do with the fact that I went to two Sunday Schools every week until I was 12. They’re from a bible story.
3carnations // October 5, 2007 at 8:38 am
Sheesh. You tell that guy if he is going to talk to you like that, he’d better offer to wax the car for you.
Oh, sorry, that wasn’t a very liberated thing to say…
That’s true, I should have thought of that. I guess I was too focused on wanting that guy to finish with the furnace, just in time for this record-breaking heat.
lizgwiz // October 5, 2007 at 9:41 am
I’m becoming a very bad feminist. As I get older, I find it harder to be offended when anyone says I’m pretty. Though I did get a little squicked out when my retired neighbor told me I had beautiful lips. That crosses a line, I think.
When the $11.6 million verdict came down against Isiah Whatshisface the other day, all I could think was “I’d take a little harassment and a hostile workplace for THAT kind of money.” Bad feminist, or just tired of working for a measly living? You decide.
I don’t think that makes you a bad feminist. We all have things that irk us in our own way, I happen to feel demeaned when I get random comments on my looks in random situations. I would love to get a buckefull of money too, but I think that a harassment suit is more annoying that the lottery.
nancypearlwannabe // October 5, 2007 at 10:19 am
Yeah, I totally would’ve tried to get them to wax my car for them. Whatevs, you weren’t born pretty for nothing.
AHHH! I’ve just been harassed by my own commenter! (I think). I am woman, see me wax.
-R- // October 5, 2007 at 12:00 pm
Your reply to nancypearlwannabe’s comment made me laugh.
Thanks! (I’m glad you’re free from SpamHell now!)
BOSSY // October 5, 2007 at 1:15 pm
This is why Bossy does all her own home repair. And why her house *sure looks it*.
Sadly, my house has been self-repaired for too many years, hence the furnace men needed to completely re-build the furnace room in order for it to be up to code.
Aaron // October 5, 2007 at 2:47 pm
An appropriate response (for the next time this happens) would be, “Yeah, and I’d hate to mar this pretty wax job running your dumb ass over. Move along, fat-ass furnace boy.”
Or something to that effect.
Yup, you are first in line for when I hire a pool boy / witty retort man.
lizgwiz // October 5, 2007 at 4:21 pm
Relevant to nothing in this post, but to answer the question you asked in my comments (I thought you might see this first)–I’m doing Crunch Candlelight Yoga, which is really very elementary. I ordered it through collagevideo.com, and they seem to have a pretty good assortment of yoga videos of all different levels, plus you can watch 60 seconds of any of them to see what you think. You might check it out.
Thanks!
kir // October 5, 2007 at 6:58 pm
oh come on… deep down inside, you KNOW they made you feel good
Way deep. I think. Way deep.
kir // October 5, 2007 at 7:01 pm
coming from a girl who was told she was beautiful only recently from 1) a homeless dude and 2) a gay dude at a very gay festival. hell, i take what i can get.
I’m so glad you’re commenting twice again.
rdl // October 5, 2007 at 11:05 pm
ehwww. but then they did clean up.
The things I do…
Anaka // October 6, 2007 at 2:17 pm
I like the title of this post - it’s very funny! Perhaps they should teach your version of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in Sunday school . (And I’m quite impressed that you waxed your car. I’m much too lazy for such endeavors.)
The car is the only thing that I own that is actually work anything, so I am happy to take care of it. And yes, I’m glad all that Sunday School was actually worth something.
Birmingham // October 7, 2007 at 1:53 am
If I promise to harass you will you wax MY car?
At least that’s one promise I know you can keep!
R // October 7, 2007 at 7:47 pm
Did you know the names of the guys from the biblical furnace story, or did you have to Google? I will be impressed if you say you knew them, but I will also not believe you. =)
I knew the names because those names have cracked me up since I was a kid. I actually referred to a hard copy of the bible for the spelling, however.
Candel-lite // October 8, 2007 at 11:40 am
I seem to recall from the days when you lived near my office that your dedication to waxing runs deep. If you’re ever in the old hood, maybe you can help me wax my Nobel Prize. But seriously, I’d venture to guess that your dopaminergic projections to your VTA (that’s ventral tegmental area, rookie) are in need of some potentiating. I like the S, M, & A story, but I prefer Belshazzar, and apparently so does Rembrandt.
Welcome To Finland?
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