17
Aug
Hot Six
Posted August 17, 2007 by Noelle in Drop Everything And Read, It's a medical condition, It's fun to work out at the YMCA, Kickball, Once a New Yorker. 7 Comments
I went to see my doctor about my knees yesterday. She agreed that my right leg is indeed longer than my left and told me it was because of tightness in my lower back. Then I told her that I’ve been trying to heal myself by doing exercises I got off the internet and I’ve also been resting, icing and taking ibuprofen. She told me to keep up the good work. But for the confirmation that I was right all along, I don’t need to see any specialist and that the cartoon from last week’s New Yorker about the thing that crushed the guy on the street was not only not funny but also incomprehensible (I was reading that issue when she came into the exam room,) I didn’t really get much for my time and money.
People other than me published stuff that I wrote.
Yesterday, while driving to kickball, I had the urge to sneeze, yawn, and burp simultaneously. It was an odd feeling, and I eventually decided on the sneeze. It canceled out the other two. I think I’ve just developed a new form of rock, paper, scissors.
At the kickball game, I asked our league rep if he needed anyone else on the board. I thought it would be a nice way to get some free beer at the meetings after the game. Also, I’m a perpetual joiner. It’s a family thing. Before I even knew what happened, I had volunteered to become the writer of the league newsletter.
If you are at a bar in Poughkeepsie and pull from your purse the most recent copy of The New Yorker you have received in order to prove that there is such a thing as a disease where people’s hands attack them uncontrollably, no less than three people will accuse you of being “an elitist.” If you pull out the selfsame magazine in a bar in New York City, people will tell you, “yeah, I know, I read that when I received it THREE WEEKS AGO.”
I went swimming at the YMCA this morning in their “do not attempt to adjust the fogginess of your goggles, we are controlling the cloudiness of the water” pool. I don’t know how she found out I was there, but my old friend Motormouth Marianne showed up, and promptly hopped into the lane next to me. She only tried to talk to me once, and in the end I decided she gives me good motivation to not hang on to the edge of the pool and relax for too long between sets. I’m taking advantage of the fact that she hasn’t figured out how to talk to me while I’m doing a flip turn.
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Posted by nancypearlwannabe on August 17, 2007 at 1:11 pm
Wow, you didn’t even get any narcotic, habit-forming drugs out of your doctor’s visit? What a waste of time!
Glad you’re able to heal yourself though. I know people are super skeptical of chiropractors (as was I), but I swear when he re-aligned my hips I felt 100 times better and my legs were no longer out of whack.
Posted by Noelle on August 17, 2007 at 1:24 pm
NPW – no, I didn’t even get a free packet of 200mg of Asprin out of the visit. Also, I realize I wasn’t quite clear. I’ve been “healing myself” for about three weeks, and it’s not getting better. She just confirmed that I should keep doing what I’m doing. There was no hip re-aligning, just confirmation that one’s higher than the other, and a print out of information on DIY stretches. I should have just gone to Dr. Google in the first place!
Posted by Hope V on August 17, 2007 at 1:41 pm
“do not attempt to adjust the fogginess of your goggles, we are controlling the cloudiness of the water” HAHAHAHA True Story- I was driving to work today via the round about road that passes my bank and I passed the YMCA. I started thinking about whether I should join, being that it’s so close to my house…but then my head did one of those record scratch things where it grinds to a halt (and everyone stares) and I thought- what if it’s like Noelle’s YMCA…what if the water is cloudy in the pool…what if they’re ALL that gross! And I immediately dropped the idea of joining. See…your blog affects people even when they’re not reading it!
Posted by Aaron on August 18, 2007 at 5:41 am
My version of swimming is something akin to a horizontal dog paddle. It’s not elegant, but it gets the job done. Although, if it came down to Aaron v. Shark, I probably wouldn’t put my money on the tall skinny guy who was just this night told that he acted like Michael Cera‘s character in Superbad.
Posted by stilettoheights on August 20, 2007 at 12:42 pm
I have the complete New Yorker on CD Rom…and when a friend saw it she was like “oh who are you trying to fool…no one reads the New Yorker”
sigh
Posted by Anaka on August 21, 2007 at 5:33 am
I, too, work out at my local YMCA. The building looks strikingly familiar to a dorm I stayed at in Bratislava, Slovakia for 60 cents a day. I haven’t tried the pool yet, though I’ve looked at it, and the water is murky here, too.
Posted by stefanie on August 22, 2007 at 6:43 pm
Congrats to you on the much-deserved attention that bookstore entry has gotten.
Also, how do you “decide” between a sneeze, a yawn, and a burp? You’re awfully talented in the most bizarre of ways, Noelle.