After all the craziness of the Harry Potter movie and book, I feel full to the brim with cultural relevance. Now that the book has been read, I have to replace its place in my heart with The Simpsons Movie, which will undoubtedly be the biggest event ever of the weekend. I’ve loved The Simpsons since the day my parents let me put a TV in my room and I watched the entire lineup of the fledgling Fox network on a nightly basis. (That’s part of the reason I slept through most of fifth grade.)
Sidenote – The original Fox lineup had a show called “Women in Prison.” Whenever I watched that show, my dad would scoff and get this kind of disturbed look on his face. He said that it had to be a terrible show. I asked him how he could know that if he never even saw it. He said, “you can tell by the title alone.” I didn’t get that, because in my mind, if you had a situation comedy centered around a women’s prison, what else would you name it? I made a mental note to remember that exchange when I was older, to see if I could figure out what was so bad about that show title. I must have been in my early 20′s when that memory came back to me, and I was like, “oh… THAT IS a bad title! And completely inappropriate for a 5th grader!” It’s too bad I said that aloud on the film set where I was working, because I think the director heard me and perhaps thought I was talking about his badly named movie. Although to be fair, “Vodka Rocks” is, in fact, a very bad title. End Sidenote.
I don’t know if I got all the jokes of The Simpsons when I was younger, but I would watch the show religiously anyway. I can recall more than one tense family dinner and race to the kitchen T.V. set after the show became syndicated at exactly the same time as Jeopardy!, the only television show (other than Siskel & Ebert) that my parents would literally step over my dead body to watch. Usually, whoever got to the television first got to pick the show, but there was lots of cheating and suspicious channel changing during commercial breaks.
For about 10 years, my every Sunday was centered around making sure I was near a television at 8:00 for the new episode. That was until the fateful fall when I studied abroad and missed the first half of Season 10. Although a friend had taped every episode for me when I came back for the spring semester, I learned that life could go on if I missed an episode. Eventually, I graduated college and decided that I needed to live without television, and I have henceforth only caught the occasional new episode in the past 8 years. I’m okay with that, because I think they really hit their stride in the mid-90′s, and the new episodes will never compare. While I don’t feel as strongly as Birmingham, who will claim that “The Simpsons is dead to me,” I’m okay with not being up-to-date, as long as I know the DVD will eventually emerge.
However, this movie is something completely different. It’s unmissable. It’s rendered in full color. It’s got all the best jokes that have been saved for years. (Much like the new Harry Potter book) it has nudity. I have to pay to see it. I will not be watching alone in my bedroom. 7-Eleven is selling Squishees and Buzz Cola and pink donuts right now. Best of all, the movie website people set up an avatar creator so that I can animate Birmingham and myself:
What do you think? I’m glad I was able to capture the waviness of Birmingham’s hair, and dress myself in an homage to Lisa and Apu’s choice to forgo meat. The problem is that I’m no photoshop wiz, so I have no clue how to make these images appear without all the copyright info and logos. UPDATE: The lovely and amazing Grey Boy was able to provide me with logo-free copies. Thanks! Also, you only get to chose from three adult body types, and it doesn’t let me show you just how cute Birmingham’s butt really is. It’s also rare that either of us stand at attention like that. But hey, as far as curvy yellow figures go, I think I captured something.
A while ago, I asked Birmingham if he minded that I talk about him and post pictures of him. His response was, “I’m just glad you don’t use my real name.” I hope this doesn’t make him mad, either, because I totally choo-choo-chose him.
Posted by Alyson on July 26, 2007 at 4:46 pm
LOL- the avatar of Birm is HYSTERICAL! Love the eyebrows. Tonight is my Simpsons Movie advance screening. Wish you could be there b/c I’m sure Copper and I won’t appreciate it as much as you would. And all the nerds at work are leaving early so they can be first in line, which is pretty weird since I think we have assigned seats.
Posted by stefanie on July 26, 2007 at 5:52 pm
Fifth grade? Really? Am I honestly that much older than you? I guess so.
I know a lot of people who gave up on new episodes of The Simpsons in the past few years, but I maintain that while it did get a bit sucky in the early 2000s, it’s actually come back and is funny again now. No one believes me, but trust me; it’s true.
Anyway, I will be seeing the Simpsons movie this weekend, too. And I think I’m the only one on the Internet who hasn’t yet created a Simpsons likeness of myself. I love yours and Birmingham’s.
This is a ridiculously long and fairly pointless comment, but I also have to say, the new Harry Potter book has nudity?!? Good lord; won’t someone please think of the children???
Posted by lizgwiz on July 26, 2007 at 7:01 pm
I’ve only been a sporadic Simpsons viewer through the years. I’m old enough to remember when they were just a little segment on the first “Tracey Ullman Show.” And Tracey was prescient enough to once quip, “next season I’ll be a recurring segment on the Simpsons show.”
Posted by Aaron on July 26, 2007 at 11:05 pm
Yeah, fifth grade?! I was a freshman in high school when the Simpsons Xmas special came on. Hell, I was in eight grade when the Tracy Ullman shorts aired. Why do I sometimes feel like the world is determined — determined — to remind me how old I am? S’not right.
I just wrote “snot”.
Posted by Aaron on July 26, 2007 at 11:06 pm
BTW, what self respecting man wouldn’t watch a show called “Women in Prison”?
Posted by stilettoheights on July 27, 2007 at 12:39 pm
I love the avatars…funny, I had the same conversation with “my bubs” about my blog…things are odd for him because there are people at his job that read my blog…and he feels just like a character in a book.
anyway….I am super excited about the Simpsons!!!
Posted by Kelli on July 27, 2007 at 5:18 pm
I LOVE the Simpsons characters of you two! How cool.
So, guess what? I’m already back to blogging. Yes, indeed. I missed it THAT much.
Posted by Anaka on July 30, 2007 at 5:11 am
Birmingham isn’t his real name??? I had no idea – it’s a great pseudonym, though. I just finished HP, and am now lost as to where to turn for relevant culture. I suppose I’ll return to my BBC “MI-V” spy
show . . .
Posted by rdl on July 31, 2007 at 1:55 am
My son is a huge fan of the Simpsons and already saw the movie. I’m trying to decide whether to see it (he said he’d see it again) or go see Hairspray. and good for you on getting those avatars to work(we haven’t) – i like them.
Posted by Noelle on July 31, 2007 at 11:49 am
alyson – Birmingham didn’t like his avatar, and I made him create one on his own. Let me just say, even his mother couldn’t tell the difference!
stefanie – Fifth grade was when the Tracy Ullman show started showing Simpsons shorts. You’re not that much older! Yeah, there’s nudity. For once, give the book banners a real reason to ban something!
liz – I got to meet Tracy Ullman once and made the mistake of telling her I watched her when I was a kid. I think she had a visceral “I feel old” reaction to that, but I only wanted to compliment her!
Aaron – If you were in 8th grade when the shorts came out, then congratulations, you’re younger than Birmingham!
Stiletto – I think that Birmingham’s like a character. If I wrote down our conversations with a stenographer’s accuracy… They wouldn’t be as enjoyable, I think.
Kelli – Thanks! Now, if you ever see us strolling down a cartoon alley, please say hello!
Anaka – Yeah, all the names on this blog are made up. In Birmingham’s case, he’s named for an old army jacket he bought with the name on the lapel. When you’re angry with him, just shake your hand, do your best Capitan Klink impression, and yell, “Birminghaaaaaaaaaaam!”
RDL – I’m trying to get my mom into the simpsons as well. It’s got to be much better than a movie based on the broadway show of a movie.
Posted by Dan on July 31, 2007 at 8:06 pm
You were able to put glasses on your simpson clone? I couldn’t find that option…grr
RE: your comment on my blog –
I think most men should go through “Just Ask Her Already! 101″ – I flunked out the first time