The Daily Tannenbaum

After discussing my weekend plans with my Saturday boss on Saturday afternoon, he looked at me, incredulously, and said, “You’re driving six hours to Washington DC to go to a baby shower? And then turning around and coming home the same day?”

“One of the drawbacks of going to college in Virgina is that you run the risk of making friends who live in Virginia.” I told him.

And indeed, after my sift ended at 9:00 on Saturday, I got an hour and a half start on my trip by driving to Jersey to slumber at my parents’ house. As I got about fifteen minutes south of work, I realized that my clever little travel bag full of grapes, water, avocado and salsa that I made for myself on Saturday morning was still sitting in the mini-fridge. Travel-plaza food for me, indeed.

That night, I got to my parent’s house pretty quickly, where my mother had provided me with a lovely array of travel books for my vacation in two weeks. On Sunday, I woke up early in the bloody morning to make it to the shower for its 12:00 start, and about fifteen minutes into the journey, I realized all the travel books were sitting nice and safe on my mother’s desk.

I arrived in northern Virginia for the party just on time, where finger foods were served, wine was poured, presents were opened, and one big belly was molested. After hearing three and a half hours of stories about swollen fingers, swollen feet, leaking breasts and five months of puking, I left the party with my booty bag. (It was a pirated themed baby shower, after all.) About fifteen minutes into the trip home, I realized that I left all desire to procreate behind.

PS: when I got home around 11:00 last night, I was greeted with an oh-too-familiar smell. It seems that I when I left my house on Saturday morning, I forgot to take out the trash. Sadly, I didn’t remember that I forgot.