First off, I want to thank my mom for her wonderful post, and thank you all for your comments. She’s made it a challenge for me to think of a good follow-up, and the best I can come up with is my most recent crazy landlady story.
For my birthday this year, The Man of Action (who apparently has a phone which can only receive and not make calls, not that this is completely distressing to me, seriously, call me back, asshole!) gave me a subscription to The New Yorker. Even though the monkeys at my post office are incapable of delivering the magazine on time or without the back cover completely ripped off, I do love to read about what’s happening in the city and the world as told with an extreme liberal bias.
My landlesbian also gets a copy of the New Yorker, but since she lives in the city during the winter, it’s forwarded to her. She gets her copy, I get my copy, and we all live in harmony. But since she’s moved back to the farm and all of her mail gets delivered to the communal box, things haven’t been flowing so smoothly. She only takes her mail out about once a week, meaning that the me and the other tenants have to sort through her stuff to get our mail. Of course the one day a week she does check the mail is usually when I have an outgoing Netflix DVD’s which she like to push of the mailbox so that they don’t get mailed out. And since it’s been two weeks since I’ve received a new New Yorker, I hypothesized that my copy arrived on her mail-checking day.
Yesterday, between getting home from work and going to yoga class, I decided to wander over to her and confront her about the magazine.
“Oh! That’s why they sent me two copies!” she said.
“No, Crazy,” I said, “They sent YOU one copy, and they sent ME one copy. That makes TWO copies, one of which belongs to me.”
She had me follow her into the living room where she picked up the two identical New Yorkers, and looked at them.
“What do you know?” She said, “this copy has your name on it!” She handed me my copy and then said, “The funny thing is that I didn’t know what to do with two copies of the same magazine, so I was going to give you this one. I thought you would like it.”
Maybe, if I’m lucky, for Christmas she’ll give me the copy of House Season Two Disk Three that Netflix claimed never arrived.
