After a winter of spending Thursday nights exercising our brains at Trivia Night, my friends and I returned to the great outdoors last night for the opening game of kickball. I’ve been swimming a lot in the past few months, and running, lifting weights, and doing yoga. I’m starting to see that I look a little trimmer in the lumpy places, and I was convinced that that would all add up to sudden coordination on the kickball field. However, it turns out that I still can’t catch for the life of me. Thankfully, my gawkiness didn’t cause our team to give up any runs like last year, and I did get to first base once, but I didn’t develop magical mad skillz over the winter. Alas, I will just have to enjoy myself at the bar afterwards, and a hardship that will not be.
Oh, and because I get a lot of people coming to this blog who are looking for funny kickball team names, I’ll let you know that we’re Team Underpants. Why? Because Flick, our team leader, wants to be known as Capitan Underpants. Also, it’s probably going to be a good opportunity for our friend Pantsless to yet again go pantsless. I can’t wait until the fall when we’ll be on team 21st Amendments again.
UPDATE
This is the most popular post, not because it’s well written, or funny, or interesting. But Googlers come here every day thinking they’re going to find a list of funny kickball team names. And I’m not one to deny my readers, even if they just pop in for a minute and then leave (please, bookmark me and read more when you have time.) So, I’m compiling a list of names I think are funny from WAKA leagues across the country. You can steal these names if you want to, but I warn you, they’re taken.
Virginia Team Names & the associated league:WE DO KICKN’ RIGHT – Vienna
GRASS KICKERS – Triumph
THE BALLED AND THE BEAUTIFUL – Southside
SPARKLE MOTION – Freedom
FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS – Dulles
123 NOT IT – Dominion
CLUB FOOT – Central
I’D HIT IT – Cardinal
SWIFT KICK IN THE GRASS – Capital
BUNDT CAKES – Beach
RECESS RAMBLERS – Arlington
WE GOT THE RUNS – Alexandria
Utah Teams:BALLS N’ DOLLS – Capital
Texas Teams:
CHEST NUTS – Live
RECREATIONAL HAZARD – Liberty
FLAT FOOT FLOOZIES – Capital
South Carolina Teams:BAD NEWS BREWS – Upstate
SCHWETTY BALLS – Seaside *I have to interject that “Schwetty Balls” is Team Lucky Star/Underpants/21st Ammendment’s team cheer based on an insult I hurled at Birmingham after a game once.*
THREE KICKS TO THE WIN – Palmetto
BOOZE ON FIRST – Lowcountry
THREE DOLLAR BILLS – Costal
Pennsylvania Teams:DEWEY DECIMATORS – River
Ohio Teams:JIMINY KICK-IT – Great Lakes
New York Teams:
TEAM UNDERPANTS – Mid Hudson
21st AMENDMENTS – New Deal *This would be the one I coined…
KIKBUTT OR KICKBALLS – New Star
VAN DELAY INDUSTRIES – Liberty
JOHN STAMOS IS OUR DAD – Freedom
DUCK – Big Apple
New Mexico Teams:TEAM MANDRAKE – Mesa
RECESS RENEGADES – Cottonwood
North Carolina Teams:LOS CAJONES – Triangle
HOT TAMALES – Triad
KICK IN A BOX – Capital
Missouri Teams: DEATH FROM ABOVE – Kansas City
Minneapolis Teams:DRUNK AGAIN & LOOKING TO SCORE – Twin Cities
Maine Teams:RAZED BY SQUIRRELS – Lighthouse
Maryland Teams:Kicker Bees – Gaithersburg
FREE BALLERS – Fire
UNCLE JESSE’S POWERFUL RIPPERS – Bethesda
Massachusetts Teams:SALOONANTICS – Pioneer
RED BALLS AND VODKA – Minutemen
4th BASE – Minutemen
I BENT MY WOOKIE – Ironsides
Louisiana Teams: JOHNNY AND THE COBRA KAIS – Triumph
Iraq Teams:SHEIK JABOOTY – Star
Illinois Teams:KICKTATORS – Deep Dish
Georgia Teams:BALLZ EN FUEGO – Thunder
10 INCHES SOFT – Dogwood
Florida Teams:SUCK MY KICK – Sawgrass
FIASCO UNITED (FU) – Riptide
NORFOLK AND CHANCE – Grove
ROCK WITH YOUR WAKA OUT – Fuego
BREWS ON FIRST – Costal
WHAT SHE SAID – Central
COST-PER-KICKS – Boca *They have THE BEST website of all WAKA, IMHO
AFTER SCHOOL SPECIALS – Bedrock
FOX FORCE FIVE – Beach, Las Olas
DEADLY VIPER ASSASSINATION SQUAD – Beach, Sunrise
TOEJAMMERS – Bayshore
DRINKERS WITH A KICKING PROBLEM – Atlantic
DC Teams:THE FOUL BALLS – Waterfront
SAVED BY THE BALLS – Thunder
MENACE 2 SOBRIETY – Royal
ACE OF 2nd BASE – Potomic
NEW KICKS ON THE BLOCK – Monument
WE ARE HUGE IN JAPAN – Lightning
THE REPLACEMENTS – Hill
LITTLE LEBOWSKI URBAN ACHIEVERS – Gold
MUCH ADO ABOUT BALLS – Freedom
THE CHILDREN LEFT BEHIND – Federal
YOU LOOK LIKE I NEED A DRINK – Dupont
OUR KICKS DON’T LIE – Constitution
BALLS TO THE MALL – Constitution
ALCOBALLICS – Colonial
CHESTER COPPERPOT – Capital
SONS OF PITCHES – Adams Morgan
E EQUALS M.C. HAMMERED – Adams Morgan
California Teams:WARNER PROS – Studio
HERE FOR THE _EER! – Silicon
SECTION 509 – Riptide
OPRAH’S BALL CLUB – Pacific
HOBOLYMPIANS – Junction
UNTITLED KICKBALL PROJECT – Hollywood
KICK TEASE – Fiesta
ONE KICK WONDERS – Dogtown
CENTAURS (MY LITTLE PONIES) – Crown
FIGHTING EMUS – Central
JOHN COUGAR MELLENCAMPS – Action
Arizona Teams:DONKEY TO MOUTH – Valley
KEG AND LEGS – Sunrise
LUDICROUS SPEED – Scorch
TIPSY AND THE BUNCH – Blister
I also need to mention teams use the “Off in” prefix, so that when you say “My team beat OFF IN ____” you sound like an asshole. I hate this genre, because it was only funny the first time. So, dishonorable mention goes to:
OFF IN THE SHOWER – Shore, VA
OFF CONSTANTLY – Dominion, VA
OFF IN PUBLIC – Star, TX
OFF IN CORNER – West Palm, FL
OFF IN THE PARK – Capital, DC
If you want to argue these calls, or add your own team name, send me an email at dailytannenbaum – gmail – com.
